What an adventure "Adventureland" was!

So... in the most recent past I've seen the Fast and the Furious, which was oh so fast and oh so furiously disappointing (JK... I mean for serious?.. who was expecting an oscar-calibre movie out of it?), and Adventureland.

The fast and the furious doesn't need much more mention other than it was an okay racer-action flick with a mindless plot, hot babes, and some beautiful cars...

Now the movie that was surprisingly, awkwardly, awesome: Adventureland! It was juno-esque in its combination of funny and dramatic, and it surprised me by being a movie that I actually enjoyed...

Basically, the movie revolves around a college grad whose plans to go to Europe fall through and is forced to spend his summer working at "Adventureland," a shitty amusement park in Pittsburgh. This awkward college graduate finds himself falling in love with "the cool girl," who brings her own spew of drama to the mix. The movie's character's are all awkward and comedic, and, somehow, they end up hitting a very dramatic home-run, despite most of them being so "off".


Oh, and did I mention it takes place in the 80s... Seriously bad clothes, bad dancing, bad hair-styles, and bad music... Which is the combination for supremely entertaining! I say that "Adventureland" is a go-go!

The Haunting in Connecticut

This movie was deliciously creepy (yea, deliciously... as in, if it were a food I would eat it!)

Basically it's a ghost story, akin to the Amityville horror: Family moves into house. House creeps the fuck out of family. Family gets its sanity fondled by ghosts. So on and so forth... I won't give too much away.

A trend with horror movies is that they lack a certain originality that most movies *don't have either*, so if you're one of those nit-picking "movie critics" that believes that a movie can't be good if it's not 100% fresh, than this isn't your movie. But if you like creepy ghost movies that will get you to jump more than once, see this movie.

Note: This movie didn't have any trailers/previews before it started, so I'm not even sure what kind of horror movies I can expect to come in the near future.... what a downer!

Last House on the Left

What a movie that was....

It starts off a bit slow (actually the movie moves at a weird speed, and it definitely felt a lot different than most of the movies already out there)

The storyline was nothing out of this world: Girl goes with family to the middle of nowhere, girl meets boy in the middle of nowhere, girl finds out boy's family is psychotic, boy's family tortures girl, and so forth....

What sets this movie apart is the shock-value... It includes things as tame as a rape scene (okay, not so tame), to as gross as watching someone stitch the skin on a guy's nose with a freakin' thread and needle (un-anesthetized), and watching someone's hand get majorly farked up by garbage disposal in a sink...

the ending was fitting of the movie, and I recommend anyone remotely interested in slasher flicks, horror flicks, or anything in that genre to see this movie...

I'M BACK

After a substantial hiatus I have returned, hopefully to continue to talk about the things that I hold dear to my heart (movies, obviously)...

Since my last post here's a non-comprehensive list of movies I've seen:

- Watchmen

- The International

- The Brave One

- The Ruins

- and an assortment of parts of movies, and movies not even deserving a mention

Watchmen was pretty good... I was tired, so it felt a little long, but the story was good, action was good, and the feel was spot on. It felt like a comic movie, and even though I've only read some of the source material, I don't find it hard to believe that the movie was a pretty literal translation of the novel (don't fix what ain't broke).

The international... felt long and drawn out, but the end was worth it. Decent action movie.

The Brave One... Way too predictable. Although, when Jodie Foster's character gets the shit kicked out of her it was some serious stuff... but other than that it was just "eh"

The Ruins... Me likey... It was slightly predictable.. I mean you know some bad shit is going to happen in ruins when you're watching a horror movie called "the ruins"... it was a bit farfetched, but the movie had a decent pace, and had some seriously tense moments.. It was just a little gruesome... okay, it was a lot gruesome.. I haven't seen a movie that gruesome in a long, long, long time, but I say it's well worth it. Not a top movie, but if you have the time just check it out.

Now I'm just looking forward to seeing "The Last House on the Left," although I've heard it's not great, I have to see it for myself.

Movies on the horizon:

X-men origins: Wolverine

Transformers 2

Terminator

The Haunting in Connecticut

9 (based on this Animated Short Film)

The Road (Read the book!! SOOO good... and I don't actually enjoy all that many books... although this book is post-apocalyptic, so it definitely fits into my preference, but it's good nevertheless (at least oprah agrees with me.. apparently))

the cracked out awesomeness of Coraline

So I ventured out to see Coraline last night, and I was surprised in how much I actually enjoyed it. It was in 3-d (which means you have shit flying into you and away from you throughout the whole movie) and that was pretty awesome... but for being a kid's movie I was still thoroughly impressed.

It had Tim Burton's dark seal of approval and there were some seriously adult things going on that really makes it enjoyable for all age ranges. I won't give away what goes on in the movie for the sole fact that the wtf factor is important for the movie...

So although horror movies hold a special place in my heart, Coraline managed to woo me over to believe that dark 3-d kids movies might not be sooo bad afterall.

To run or walk, that is the question...

So I saw Friday the 13th, the Uninvited, and this older movie called Léon the Professional, and I liked them all... but I mostly liked Friday the 13th.. In a nutshell, it revitalized an aging franchise while being the successful embodiment of what a good horror movie should be. There was some comedy (honestly, the director knows who's watching his movie, and definitely appeals to the viewer with the humor), but more importantly, there was a serious can of whoop-ass opened up throughout the movie (their was only one person doing the whooping, and I won't insult your intelligence anymore than that)...

Now I'll just say you should definitely go out and see Friday the 13th, but that brings me to what I've been thinking about for a few days now... what makes the horror figure all that scary?... In my head I can conceptualize two basic archetypes of what a horror figure could be: The intimidating figure that can't be outrun (because he just runs so damn fast) and who always happens to have the bigger weapon (lol)... and the omnipresent figure whose intelligence can't be beat and who never has to run to catch his prey (this can include ethereal beings like ghosts).

for those of you not following my drift I'll give examples. An example of the the big-ass dude with a massive weapon would be in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre... Whats more intimidating than a guy most definitely twice your size running around with a F*&@ing chainsaw!

my next example is of the omnipresent horror figure who does not use brute strength to intimidate his prey. This could be like the ghost in the ring, the guy/girl in Saw that plays games, or Freddy Krueger. I mean, Freddy Krueger might have blades for fingers, but he's not really real... he works through nightmares and basically gives his victims the feeling that they can't fall asleep because he's always there.

In the end, everyone dies! But which is scarier? sliced to bits or scared to death?

Rot in Hell Rotten Tomatoes!

Okay, so eventually this blog will stray from the sole topic of movies... I promise. But for now, the movie ranting will continue.

As you may be aware, I'm pretty darn excited for the Friday the 13th movie, which I'll be seeing tonight (hopefully). Like with most movies, I go to Rotten tomatoes to get the scoop of what I'll be in for.


Not to my surprise, Rotten Tomatoes already has a harshly negative percentage for Friday the 13th (25% rotten when I checked). This is frustrating for a genre that will always be popular, but always negatively reviewed if things maintain the same. What's even more saddening is the negative reviewers said that the movie was made well, technically, but lacked a deep plot..

Slasher films are part of our culture. With that said we all know what we're getting when we go to see a slasher film: Nudity, Screaming, Gore, lack of plot, and pure awesome (slightly subjective?)

So why do horror movies continue to be made if they're all bad?... well, for their genre they aren't bad. Slasher films fill a niche that is bound to entertain some (like me), while disgust others. They aren't meant to be the next Slumdog Millionaire, although some may attempt this (with success or with complete failure... BTW Danny Boyle is my favorite director).

So now to my wishful thinking. I wish that critics would look at movies and take into account what they are going for. How can you rate a movie for lacking a plot when the most important aspect of the movie isn't the plot!? (last time I checked, I didn't get scared from a plot... maybe a few chills, but scared?.. no).

Rating movies shouldn't involve the same "rubric/grade sheet" to rate how good a movie is.. It wouldn't work, and I believe that many critics don't look at movies like this. They look at things like plot, acting, cinematography, soundtrack. Some of these might be important for most movies, but the amount that either makes or breaks a movie depends on the genre (good cinematography is important for me in just about any movie). Sound is much more important for a horror film than an action film, plot is more important for movies lacking any real excitement. etc (I'm sure you could think of genres that require different things).

Critics need to realize that a movie's purpose isn't always to mentally challenge the watcher, or to even require watchers to feel as though there is an underlying theme (although many horror movies do contain this subtle layer).

If society has decided that a plot is the most important part of a movie, then I may have to defect to a cave (I'd bring my laptop and a netflix subscription, though). Next time I rate a romantic comedy I'll be sure to rate it poorly for lacking the thrills that make a horror movie good, because to me that is what is important to a movie.